What I wish I knew before turning 20

What I wish I knew before turning 20
Micky Weis
Micky Weis

15 years of experience in online marketing. Former CMO at, among others, Firtal Web A/S. Blogger about marketing and the things I’ve experienced along the way. Follow me on LinkedIn for daily updates.

I’m back again!

This time with a slightly different post.

Do you, like me, occasionally wonder whether you’re living the best life for you?

After serving as CMO at Firtal Web A/S for the past year, I’ve gained a lot of experience with productivity and efficiency in both teams and individuals.

In addition, I’ve spent the last five years as a dedicated bookworm, and I’ve now read over 100 different books.

That’s why I want to use this post to share my experiences around productivity and mental calm—something I think we all want more of in everyday life—being more grounded in ourselves.

Prefer my marketing tips? Don’t worry, another post you’ll love is coming soon!

Let’s get started.

Books

As mentioned, I’ve read an incredible number of books by now.

But it didn’t come easily to me—I actually started out completely wrong.

Start easy!

The worst thing you can do is to begin with something too hard. I dove into heavy psychology books and the thickest autobiographies I could find.

I gave up—every time. But then I changed my strategy.

I started reading things that genuinely interested me.

For example, Steve Jobs’ autobiography, David Beckham’s books, or short and accessible books about online marketing.

As I read more and more simple books, I also developed my reading skills. Eventually, I was able to take on more demanding genres again.

Today, I read exclusively in English, and some of the material is pretty heavy—like machine learning and psychology. And I can only get through these topics because I started easy—and because they also interest me, of course.

5 things reading has given me:

  • Better understanding of others and myself
  • Improved memory (clinically proven)
  • Cultural awareness
  • More knowledge (obviously)
  • Greater peace of mind and better sleep (reading calms you down)

The time you spend on social media equals the time it would take to read 200 books a year—crazy, right?

Rule #1: Start easy.

Technology

Most of us are completely absorbed by technology—for better and worse, like so many other things in life.

I probably work more with tech on a daily basis than most people.

For a long time, I let technology control me until I recognized the issue and changed my strategy.

I became more aware of how I spent the hours in my day.

Give yourself an exercise

Install a time-tracking software on your computer—I use the Harvest app myself.

Start the timer every time you begin a task, and try it out for a week.

Trust me—you’ll be shocked at how little you actually work and how much time is spent on social media or other nonsense (if I may say so).

I don’t always do it—I’m not that structured—but from time to time I do it for a week to evaluate how I’m spending my time.

Rule #2: You control the tech, not the other way around.

Use to-do apps

One thing that radically improved my productivity is the Wunderlist app (today known as Microsoft To Do).

It’s one of those smart little apps where you can create tasks and lists of all kinds.

I use it for EVERYTHING—really, everything.

I’ve completed around 5,000 tasks using that little gem—and it’s even free.

I keep different lists—here are a few of mine:

  • Personal: Things I need to remember personally
  • Daily work: Current tasks
  • Books: Books I want to read
  • Blog optimization: Things to fix on the blog
  • Blog posts: Upcoming posts

The great thing about Wunderlist is that it works across devices and syncs automatically if desired.

When I get an idea on the bus, I jot it down—and the same goes if an idea hits before I fall asleep.

We use Trello at Firtal, so I move tasks from Trello to my “daily work” list on Wunderlist. It makes me extremely productive because I don’t plan my day on the day—but the day before.

Rule #3: Get things out of your head and into an app (or on paper).

EQ

Emotional Intelligence (your EQ) is a concept I only encountered in recent years.

I met my current mentor two years ago—Morten Kirk, founder of SERMO with over 500 employees.

He explained that when hiring, they value EQ more than IQ.

That inspired me to explore the topic.

Ask yourself:

  • How emotionally stable are you? Do you manage your emotions well?
  • Can you read others’ emotions and act accordingly?
  • Can you control your emotions to focus on a task?

Example

You have a boss who’s emotionally unstable—grumpy one day, happy the next. He doesn’t notice when you’re overwhelmed and just keeps piling on tasks. In this case, IQ doesn’t matter—his lack of EQ is breaking you and the team.

Tom Brady:

After the Super Bowl, I read statements from Tom Brady’s teammates.

Even under insane pressure and trailing far behind in the final (the most-watched sports event in the world), Tom Brady remained completely calm. You couldn’t tell from his demeanor.

Rule #4: Master your emotions and pay attention to others’.

People

The most important thing for us as humans is to have other people around us.

But it can also be a challenge—especially if you’re not selective.

There’s a saying: You become like the five people you spend the most time with.

I focus a lot on whether the people around me bring value to my life—positively or negatively.

It doesn’t have to be intentional, but if you have five close friends who party every weekend and don’t really accomplish much—chances are, you’ll follow suit (note: what’s good or bad is subjective—I’m not judging here).

I’m not saying you should choose your friends based on skills or status—but be mindful of what they bring into your life.

Get a mentor & a strong network

The best thing you can do for yourself is to get a mentor and build a strong network.

It can take many forms.

I have a great mentor in Morten—as mentioned earlier. I’ve also been lucky to have mentors in various industries—from law and fitness to app development and real estate.

It takes many cups of coffee to build a strong network, but it’s worth both the time and the coffee!

How to build a great network:

  • Respect people’s time and skills
  • People are different—you won’t find a mentor who knows everything
  • Be clear on what you can offer—and give it
  • Use LinkedIn actively
  • Give without expecting anything in return
  • LISTEN, LISTEN, LISTEN—a challenge for many
  • Be curious and seek knowledge in books, podcasts, etc.
  • Keep your wits about you—bad mentors exist, trust me

Rule #5: Surround yourself with amazing people who add value to your life.

Diet, exercise, sleep and supplements

One thing too many people underestimate is their physical health.

I’ve always been very active and played a lot of sports. But since I now sit for 8–9 hours a day working, it’s important for me to think about my diet and overall health.

I try to avoid carbs, because they make me personally tired (we’re all different).

It’s all about balance.

Here’s what works for me:

  • Breakfast: Eggs, coffee and water
  • Lunch: Meat and vegetables
  • Dinner: Meat and vegetables
  • Snacks: Dark chocolate, cottage cheese and rice cakes
  • I also drink about 2–3 liters of water per day

From time to time I do enjoy pizza and other treats—again: balance.

It’s about creating habits. I believe that once something becomes a routine, it naturally becomes part of your lifestyle.

I also take supplements—but I’m fully aware they’re not what makes the difference.

I stick to the basics: Vitamin D, fish oil, magnesium and probiotics.

The tech industry, which I’m part of, often ignores the importance of health—it’s almost expected to be careless if you’re a “nerd.” I think that’s a shame.

Stress

Stress has become an odd factor in today’s society—as if having stress is a badge of success. The more we work, the more successful we must be.

If you’ve read Re:Work by David Heinemeier, you’ll know that this mindset is being challenged.

It’s about working effectively—especially on things that actually create value. I always remind my team to focus on what truly delivers value.

I dare say: If you focus on your health, fitness, and life outside work, stress won’t be able to catch you.

Exercise

Many people claim they don’t have time for fitness when they’re self-employed or work a lot—that’s nonsense. It’s about priorities.

There are more workout options than ever before.

Just like with books—start easy!

Example

After six months of persuasion, I got my mom to join a gym years ago. Eventually, I convinced her to try group training—Kettlebell, I think. After a few weeks, she started going by herself. Two years later, she ran a half marathon and is now a regular at Fitness World.

She even lost 15 kg and looks better today than she did 10 years ago.

Rule #6: Take care of your body—it’s the only place you’ll ever live.

Pleaser or helper?

I grew up mostly surrounded by women—my mother and my two sisters—and I’ve always felt very protective of them.

Because of that, I’ve naturally become something of a pleaser towards others. I didn’t fully realize this until I read the book No More Mr. Nice Guy.

It’s a funny title, but it truly changed how I saw helping others.

When you help others, you often set your own needs aside. If you have the pleaser gene, this feels completely natural because you believe happiness comes from making other people happy.

But I learned this the hard way: people won’t say “no” on your behalf.

At one point, I realized I was helping over 20 companies—mostly for free—because they were friends or acquaintances, and I felt it was my duty. They were making money, and I was more stressed than ever before.

That taught me to always ask myself the following question:

There is a simple quiz you can give yourself before saying “yes” to anyone in your life: Does this move my life ahead and help me reach my goals, or is this a distraction that will keep me away from my mission?

Rule no. 7: Prioritizing yourself doesn’t make you a bad person

Why? Your vision

One of the hardest things in my early twenties was people asking, “What’s your passion, Micky?”

How the hell was I supposed to know? Excuse my language.

Since then, I’ve absorbed every book and TED Talk I could find on the subject.

My conclusion: you don’t know your passion until you’ve tried a thousand things—and NOTHING is fun 100% of the time. Even models and athletes get tired of their lives from time to time. Accept this, and you’ll go far.

For those of you thinking, “I have no passion”, remember this: it takes 10,000 hours to get good at anything.

It’s only now, at the age of 28, that I’ve found my place—so don’t stress. Test yourself in every possible area, and remember: it only becomes really fun once you’re good at something.

Money is the worst motivator

It’s funny – when you’re young, you believe money is the best motivator because you don’t yet have other drivers. But all studies show the opposite.

Of course, some people only care about the financial aspect.

But I promise you, that won’t make you happy. I’m not rich, but I’m happy—because today, I have a passion and I’ve found my place.

If you own too many things, the things own you.
Possession is suffering. – Christian Stadil

The link between income and happiness

As clearly shown, increased income doesn’t significantly increase happiness once your basic needs are met.

Rule no. 8: Test yourself, be brave, and forget money as a motivator.

Meditation and alone time

Search interest in meditation has exploded in recent years—likely due to our constant sense of being connected through technology.

We lack presence more than ever before.

To me, meditation isn’t a Zen-like discipline only for monks in monasteries.

I was first introduced to it through books—Steve Jobs, for instance, practiced it. I then searched YouTube for different sessions and started experimenting myself.

Later, my doctor told me it’s the best medicine for stress—which made me take it even more seriously.

Today, I primarily use breathing exercises to find calm in stressful periods.

Example:
When I’m stressed, I imagine a kind of pillar running through the center of my body. It’s my balance point. As I breathe calmly, I try to center myself in that unshakable pillar.

Exercise:
Sit in a chair and inhale slowly through your nose while counting to 4 in your head. Hold your breath for 4 seconds. Exhale through your mouth for 4 seconds. Repeat 10–15 times while focusing only on your breath. In the beginning, you might find it difficult to breathe deeply into your stomach—it will come!

Alone time

To truly know yourself, you have to be willing to be alone.

Otherwise, you’ll blend into family, spouse, girlfriend or friends. It’s about daring to be alone—even without your social media.

Go for a walk in the woods—alone. Sleep alone or watch movies alone. In today’s world, we’re never really alone—but I personally want to improve on this, so I actively schedule time for it.

As I write this post, I’m sitting alone in a café—it’s nice.

Rule no. 9: Use breath and alone time to find calm and enjoy yourself

Focus and challenges

This is definitely the hardest part for me.

I have a monkey mind!

You’ve probably experienced that special state of flow.

Often, these intense moments occur when we’re only focused on one thing at a time.

Where the focus goes, the energy flows

It comes down to time management, your vision, and whether or not you’re a pleaser.

Studies show it takes around 15–30 minutes to fully enter and exit a task.

We humans can only truly listen to one person at a time—otherwise, our minds start to drift.

Exercise:
Do one thing at a time—and finish it!
There’s a concept called “Eat the frog,” which means starting your day with your hardest task.

Even if it takes half the day, it’s worth it—otherwise you’ll spend the whole day thinking about it while doing a bunch of less important tasks.

Challenges

So is it all smooth sailing, Micky? No, and it never will be.

The challenges we face in life are what shape us—they form us and make us stronger.

When we train to get better at a sport, we must apply the same principle to every other area of life.

Want to be a better partner? Train it!
Want to become better at reading? Train it!

We live in a time when technology and software have made it possible to learn languages just by going online. We can travel more affordably than ever before—but we are capable of nothing if we don’t train.

Rule no. 10: Focus on one thing at a time and use challenges as fuel for your development

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